Procrastination is a Disease

http://www.someecards.com/

What the hell is the deal with procrastination?  It seems like the solution to stop procrastinating should be extremely simple: STOP DOING IT.  But unfortunately, things don’t work that way.  At least once a year, I get motivated and write down a list of goals I want to accomplish.  I’m pretty sure that for the last ten years, 99% of that list hasn’t changed.  Apparently, I have a lot of aspirations each year, and I only end up accomplishing approximately 1% of them.  So the goals I don’t accomplish just roll over each year.  If this were a graded assignment, I would get an A for the goal setting and an F- for the follow through.  I’ve already figured out that I have a tendency to get overly ambitious about too many things, which results in me getting overwhelmed, and then I end up doing nothing.  I’ve tried to just focus on one thing at a time, but it’s really hard.  I feel like my brain has a cord that isn’t quite plugged in all the way.  Maybe I just have ADD?  I would actually be very upset if I found out that I've had ADD all this time.  How do people stop procrastinating?  No, seriously.  I feel like this is serious.  I can’t focus, I’m lazy, and I lack discipline.  I don’t even know what it’s like to be disciplined; it’s possible that discipline is an innate quality that I just don’t have. 

I’m a big believer in cognitive therapy.  Although I’ve never actually been to therapy, my educated guess would be that it’s the most affective.  For example, I know that when someone has an eating disorder, one way for that person to understand their behavior, is to keep a food journal.  They write down everything that they eat but they also record how they felt before during and after eating, to see if there’s a pattern.  Most people have triggers, which set off different behaviors.   It’s just hard to be aware of what those triggers are, so that’s why keeping a journal is helpful.  I should keep a procrastination journal; maybe I'll start tomorrow (ha ha, nudge nudge, wink).  I'm sure if I went to therapy, that's what they would recommend.  Or they would diagnose me with ADD or something else, give me some meds, and all of my problems would be solved.

Laid-Back, Easygoing Wreck

Adorable, easygoing pug.  (Unknown Source)

“So, where should we go eat?”
“Whatever, I’m down for anything.”
“You’re so laid-back,” she said sarcastically.

“Or am I easy going?”

“Aren’t they the same thing?”

“No.”

“Well, what’s the difference?”

“I don’t know, but they’re different!”

It feels like my friend and I continuously have the same conversation/argument over and over again.  My friend likes to say that being laid-back and being easygoing are two different things.  I think she’s wrong.   According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the definitions for both of these terms are almost one in the same, which means I’m right.

Laid-back: “Having a relaxed style or character.”

Easygoing: “Relaxed and casual in style and manner; morally lax; unhurried comfortable.”

When someone uses one (or usually both) of these adjectives to describe their personality it usually has good connotation.  Why?  Because listing uptight as one of your traits is negative?  Yes.  I can sit here and nitpick all day about how most people who say they’re laid-back and easygoing, probably aren’t, at least not entirely.  But I guess you can say that about anything.  If someone were to be 100% laid-back and easygoing in every aspect of their life then that pretty much turns into a negative trait, right?  

“Who cares,” the laid-back, easygoing person said.

Monica Geller & Danny Tanner, two characters who are definitely not laid-back.
(Friends, NBC; Full House, ABC) 

People are so preoccupied with their image; being someone that they think sounds good to others.  Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely guilty of this as well.  Growing up I always tried to cater to others and come off as laid-back and easygoing.  Acting like I didn’t care or mind about certain things was very stressful and anxiety provoking for me, but I did it anyway.  When I think about it, I probably came off more as indecisive and passive rather than laid-back and easygoing.  I am innately bossy, assertive, and controlling.  The bossiness and controlling aspects of my personality are still loud and clear but somehow, from years of playing this character, I lost my assertiveness.  Even now, when a friend asks me, “What do you want to do?”  Sometimes I know exactly what I want to do.  But instead of saying what I want or what I’m thinking, I’ll say, “I don’t know,” or “I don’t care.”  Annoying.  I’m glad that I’ve become aware of this flaw but changing is usually the hardest part.  I know I’m not the only person who does this.  Why?  Why do people do this?  My educated guess is that low self-esteem is most likely the root of this behavior.  Tears.  It's ridiculous, what are we afraid of?  It’s not like if we say or do the wrong thing we may get killed…well, I guess that all depends on the circumstance.  People who aren't secure with who they are care way too much about what others think, thus continuously yearn for acceptance, and therefore are afraid to say the wrong thing.    

Well, guess what?  There's good news, we can change this!  Do you know how?  ...I don't either.  To overly simplify it, we all just need to be ourselves.  To stop being afraid to say that we're sometimes shy, uptight, or that we stayed in last Friday night and ordered pizza and watched a whole season of 30 Rock, alone.  If we were all honest with ourselves and with each other, we would all see how similar we are instead of feeling like we don’t fit in.  Of course, it’s easier said then done.  But the first step is to become aware of our behavior.  It’s funny because what it really means for someone to be completely laid-back and easygoing means that they are boring, lazy, and irresponsible.  Doesn’t sound so good now does it!